Claudia, darling, you come in here. I need you to put more electricity into this iPod. No, miss, I don’t want to wear those pumps to Anna’s party. Let’s get some heels in here. Good, good, you little pork pie. Lose a bit of weight. Ah, my iPod. I need more techno on here. It’s what my lovers listen to.
What’s this? This isn’t my white iPod! Which one is this? The iPhone? Can you make calls on it for me? Really? No, darling, the green one. The doctor said my face would fall into my salad if I don’t inject the green bottle. Call Tom Ford for me. Oh! He’s in my favorites?
Can we do something darling? Can we make a techno thing for the iPod, branded Gucci? So people can listen to music and think about Gucci? Tell Paolo to stop raking those leaves and to take off his shirt and clean the pool or else he doesn’t get into the glossies. That’s right. Mmmm… he’s a delicious bite of watermelon wrapped in thinly sliced cheese, isn’t he. Don’t poke so much with that need, Claudia, or it’s back to Stuttgart with you.
An app you say? Is that like a starter? Oh! A program! Roger must have had something to do with that sort of thing when we married. There’s quite a bit of money in it. Well do it, then. Spare no expense. Now where is my colostomy attachment? I need to get rid of breakfast. Ah, wonderful, Claudia. Wonderful.
The app is free on the App Store, darlings.
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