The highest (Phone) Sex of Your Life [Sex]

FaceTime was first thing I tried when my iPhone 4 arrived. The screen being small-like all phone-I expected its video chat to be a novelty, nothing of real value to love or sex. Was I ever wrong.

The the first thing that strikes you about FaceTime is that the image quality is incredible. Rather than some blurred-out cluster of pixels, your partner looks touchably real. You will find small movements and subtle expressions quickly flitting across faces. The second thing that subtly blows your mind is truly something you don’t notice: Because the screen and camera are essentially within the same place, you grow to be staring at your partner directly, skipping that weird sensation that you just’re both gazing some point off within the distance. This results in gazing, to intimacy, to locked eyes purchasing for glimmers of love, sadness, hurt, or mischievous excitement. And we all know where that leads: It’s a right away flight to Gettin’ Busytown.

That’s while you start to understand another previously unrevealed truth: Size matters.

Ever bring a laptop to bed? It’s weird. It’s bulky. It dictates where you may move, and only your mood (or bed buddy) will need to have that privilege. But taking a phone under the covers feels normal. Not only is it considerably easier to maneuver, it’s wonderfully familiar, evoking a lot of our first memories of love. You remember: whispering quietly under the covers while your parents were asleep. Talking about anything at all, simply to keep the conversation going. Imagine in the event you had a camera back then…

And imagine when you could take that experience anywhere. FaceTime’s easy mobility makes that type of spontaneity possible. In the event you’re in search of some chat love on a computer, you basically need to wait until you’re back at home or your hotel room. But when you’re packing an iPhone 4, you are able to call someone from a secret garden in San Francisco (I know one who picks up WiFi) to expose them a flower or a sunset. Or, if the garden’s empty, you could show them something naughtier. Nothing says wish you were here like that type of call.

Ready to attempt it? Go ahead and sneak off to a quiet corner. But listed here are a couple of the right way to consider before dialing.

Be playful.
Call it a FaceDate. Or FaceTime sex. But don’t get too cute with the nicknames-” FaTi Sex?” Not much of a turn-on.

Gather your things.
Before you begin, get everything out that you might need (vibrator, lube, an old gym sock) so you don’t have to move out of the frame later on.

Dock it.
The phone, silly! Use any standard iPhone dock that lets your phone stand, ahem, erect. Placing it on your lap could get in the way of touching or showing off the star attraction. Prop it against your nightstand or alarm clock, and you might accidentally knock it off and shatter it. And forget holding the thing; you’re gonna want to use both of your hands-unless, of course, you’re simply playing voyeur.

Light it up.
You’ll need a decent source of illumination if you’re FaceTiming in the dark. Candles will do, as will a bright hallway light and an open door. Otherwise just go with regular room lighting. Just don’t open the curtains for-you don’t want to be ” that guy,” and passersby don’t want in on the action either. This isn’t a square dance.

Gear Up
If you live alone or have adequate privacy, you probably don’t need any accessories. But if you have housemates, children, or thin walls, consider using a pair of headphones or a handsfree. Neither your partner nor your neighbors want those sounds to be broadcast. Another option is to skip the geeky headgear and activate some mood music.

Don’t touch that dial.
FaceTime sex is a totally different monster from the real-life randiness, phone love, and computer copulation. Sure, IM alerts and email dings won’t bust in and interrupt you like they can when you’re for your laptop. But incoming calls can interrupt or temporarily freeze your screen. Know what you’re going into and brace yourself against call waiting and forget about taking calls- that’s a mood killer during any type of sex.

Don’t multitask.
This is FaceTime sex and that’s it-well, unless you’re both watching porn at the same time, which is totally fun. Just don’t start checking email or Facebook or replay Frucci’s fleshlight video.

Consider multiple perspectives.
Try this: Fire up the FT while simultaneously keeping your laptops linked in a passionate video embrace. In addition to the handset’s frontside view, you could a rearview cam or a revealing profile. You could see more than one body part at a time, or close-ups complimented with full-body shots. Consider it your own private porn shoot.

ENJOY it.
FaceTime sex, like in-the-flesh sex, should be fun. Make it whatever you want it to be. Dress up, play, laugh, say sexy things. Get close to your phones and look into each other’s eyes. Get ultra close so you could have the fish eye effect and laugh about it. Put your genitals almost the phone and be silly (or awesome). FaceTime sex is whatever you are making of it. So make it good.

Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH is a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good: a girl’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. She blogs at MySexProfessor.com.

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This post is tagged: highest, Life, phone, Sex