In Praise of the 3D B-Movie [3D Movies]

3D movies! They’ve been around, in one form or another, almost provided that cinema itself. But for every prestige film like Avatar that pushes the medium to new heights, there are a dozen Piranha 3Ds. Thank god.

Take a look back at the first wave of movies in 3D and spot which names resonate: It Came From Outer Space (1953). Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954). Jaws 3D (1983). Nightmare on Elm Street 6 (1991). These were, until very recently, 3D’s legacy, in conjunction with the even schlockier stuff-Cat Women of the Moon (1953), say. Gorilla at Large (1954).

In fact, it’s safe to claim that the simplest critically lauded 3D movies of the 20 th century were successful notwithstanding the technology. As New Yorker critic Anthony Lane points out:

We still cling to Dial M for Murder but mainly for Grace Kelly, and for Hitchcock’s masterly handling of her trial scene. To be fair, Kiss Me Kate the M-G-M musical with Kathryn Grayson and Howard Keel, was a 3-D hit, though mainly for the Cole Porter songs, like ” Always True to You in My Fashion” and ” Too Darn Hot,” which existed long before the movie did and should resound after it has crumbled into dust.

What the producers of the last fifty years looked as if it would realize, and what we’re slowly losing sight of, is that 3D doesn’t make movies feel more real. It accentuates movies where the artifice is out within the open. 3D itself is pulp. That’s why it should also be better served by Final Destination: Death Trip 3D (2009) than Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007).

That’s why I’m so excited for today’s release of Piranha 3D. You know the single, right?

It’s hard to imagine a more self-consciously B-movie; everything from its poster to its namesake beg you not to take it seriously. To the point that they even mock, well, being taken seriously:

A movie like Piranha 3D carries no pretense of reality, and shock effects-like a fanged fish flying at your face-are played for laughs. 3D itself is a wink. It’s camp. And the sole exception you may really point to, Avatar, is a movie about space cat people fighting giant mechs. Not exactly Remains of the Day.

It’s a similar reason it’s hard to search out a 2D animated movie in this day and age; a cartoon is by definition artificial. Although I’d have preferred to look at Toy Story 3 at my local theater while not having to wear cheap sunglasses.

So as 3D technology becomes more sophisticated, and a growing number of movie studios and theaters try and shove a further dimension down our throats, I’m comforted by the data that it’s never going to infiltrate the an inventory. And that the B list can have never been better/worse.

Illustration by Sam Spratt. Take a look at Sam’s portfolio and become keen on his Facebook Artist’s Page.

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This post is tagged: BMovie, d, Movies, praise