Today Is National UnFriend Day: Time to tug the Trigger [Facebook]

As proclaimed by Jimmy Kimmel -in defense of the important meaning of friendship-today is National UnFriend Day. You notice that list of Facebook people you used to understand and only marginally care about now? Let’s give some the boot.

Kimmel’s got a damn good point-Zuckerberg’s metaphor for companionship, lust, and platonic palling is pretty meaningless for a lot of people. Dealing with my own friend list-currently sitting at a relatively modest 607-I will be able to see that those I’ve chosen to label as my friends might in addition be strangers. Some of them I’ve taken deliberate means to lose ” real world” contact with. Some of them I outright despise.

There’s the woman I haven’t seen since 2nd grade, so faded from my memory that I will’t even recognize her from her profile picture-a cluster of drunken girls in a gloomy room, leaning on each other for support. I kinda wish I still knew her, actually!

Or the lady I formed a friendship of convenience with freshman year of faculty-” Hey, wanna go to the dining hall together?” -a person so bland and utterly forgettable that, unless I check her profile, I actually have absolutely no knowledge of where she’s from, what her last name is, or what she even seemed like. She is an anti-person. And I even have called her my friend.

Or hey! Hey you, friend of my friend who I’ve frolicked with maybe two or 3 times in my life, and was always been type of a pompous asshole! Remember the time I came for your house, that one time, several years ago? Do you remember a single thing about that time? Me neither! Do you observed we’ll ever hang out again? Not really! You, you’re my friend.

These are my friends, in 2010-and I haven’t even gotten past the Bs. Sure, there are actual cherished homies in this list-people I know would stick their necks out for me, or keep secret my shocking tales of cowardice or immorality. You know, true friends. And the ‘Book could be a wonderful technique to keep up with people you would possibly not otherwise be able to, sans internet. But these specimens are so few and far between-rare sprinkles on a massive ice cream cone of social mediocrity and ” Oh yeah, that guy… from that place…” memories. Kimmel’s right-this ain’t friendship, regardless of how badly Facebook wants it to be.

It’s unnatural. I don’t like to analyze my newsfeed and notice a pal of my ex-girlfriend speaking to someone else I never cared about, regarding an event in a city I don’t live in and should probably never visit. And you know what, guy I feel i’d have played lacrosse with seven years ago? I’m not accepting your friend request. I don’t need to see your face. This isn’t information that are meant to be in my brain. Zuck complained of ” cognitive load” when he announced Facebook’s new messaging service -but the genuine mental burden is placed on me for this reason flock of marginal idiots, not my inbox number.

So let’s thin the herd somewhat. Let’s all shout together that, yeah, Facebook sucks up an inordinate amount of our time daily. So let’s no less than waste that time with people we somewhat care about. Today, let’s all find as a minimum one person you don’t wish to ever consider again, and hit ” Remove from Friends.”

Today, I pick you, guy I worked on an obligatory group project with during freshman year. It’s nothing personal. If this were a breakup, I’d touch your arm and say, Hey, let’s just be friends. Instead, Hey, let’s be nothing. Have a pleasant life!

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This post is tagged: companionship, drunken girls, freshman year, meaning of friendship, shocking tales