Welcome to Growing Up Geek , an ongoing feature where we have a look back at our youth and tell stories of growing as much as be the nerds that we’re. Today, we’ve got our own Associate Editor, Joseph Volpe .
Let’s get this out of ways. i didn’t grow up a geek, i used to be a sorcerer trapped within the body of a husky little boy. Or, so I managed to convince myself for years on end, wearing my Mother’s Argentine poncho, and wielding a carved wooden staff (my wand, ahem!) and a yellow glass marble — all tokens of my extended magical abilities. Before you wonder aloud if I spent much of my time sitting alone at recess convincing bugs to rework into Popples, i will be able to let you know now that you’re wrong. I did, actually, have a lot of company in my (failed) attempts at insect transmogrification. Esoteric interests, it’ll seem, are the flame to the kindred weirdo’s moth.
Russia factored wildly in my youth. Apart from the Cold War themes omnipresent in every 80s film I watched obsessively, and my unrestrained glee for a rustic frozen in an unending winter, I had my third eye fixed squarely on its governmental research into psi phenomena. Yes, i used to be a seven-year old who carted around a paperback copy of Psychic Discoveries Behind the Iron Curtain and engaged any unwitting adult in my quest to harness telekinesis. To the credit of my immediate family and one slightly freaked out Grandma, my repeated mental attempts to head the crystal napkin holder were graciously humored over pancakes and eggs.
My formative years wasn’t all a vain attempt at unlocking my sixth sense. No, I had other loves — namely books, comics and games, but not within the way you’d think. While most kids were happily rotting themselves into contented alpha states in front of the boob tube, i used to be poring over fantasy novels, concocting potions and looking graphic novels for the “knowledge” that may get me out of this earthly realm. Jean Grey was somewhat of an early hero to me; the X-(Wo)Man who would later become Phoenix had the ability pack combo of psychic powers I’d always wanted. Ours was a love / hate relationship that resulted in bitter resentment. (She never shared her secrets!) I’d moved on from my fictitious frenemy once I unearthed a book at primary school called The lady with the Silver Eyes a couple of young child with (surprise, surprise) psi abilities born from prenatal drug use. Cue me repeatedly questioning my poor Mom as to the list of medicines she took while i used to be in utero. The other mother would have found this alarming, but mine was only further charmed.
Technology was something I took as a right back then, since its silicon circuitry lacked the magic I so desperately well-liked. My father was a pc programmer and we always had a plethora of non-public computers stationed across the house. One among my earliest memories is even of him bringing home the primary Macintosh. I wasn’t aware then that at-home computing was a rarity for the time, nor that it was a nascent market. I’d accepted computers the style most young kids accept a brand new baby, or puppy. Year after year, model after model, we aged together, developing an intimate bond that just seemed natural. When AOL first swung open the dial-up gates to the arena Wide Web, i used to be there trading insights with folks within the New Age chat rooms.
It was about this time, my early teen years, that I also decided to take a significant swing at coding. I’d sit in our basement for hours on end, feet up at the desk, head buried in some dense how-to for Hypercard or C++, vainly trying to make sense of the programming languages i could not appear to master. Four months in, and I’d numbly settled into the belief that programming was not my calling. French, however, would end up to by my bag(uette).
From the age of 2 and continuing up until around 17, my heavily opinionated Sicilian clan had me fingered for a career as a Pediatrician. i do know , pediatrics and the supernatural aren’t what I’d call bosom buddies either, so you’ll understand the inner disconnect I had for my planned future. Thankfully, a little bit something referred to as the PlayStation and Next Generation magazine would come along and permanently derail medical school from my pre-arranged life track.
Midway through a presentation I’d created to get them to buy a still unreleased PlayStation for Christmas, I saw a glance in my parents’ eyes that said, “This kid has no intention to really play games.” And so they were right. i did not and not have really had an interest in defeating Bowser, rescuing Zelda or bringing down Dr. Robotnik. Mine was a pure love for the industry and its inner machinations. I pored over processors and discussions about phong shading the best way most follow news of the Brangelina horde. It was clear to me then what needed to be done. I’d learn Japanese, move to San Francisco and work as a game journalist. These kinds of things happened, but none inside the way I’d intended.
And so it went that I dove head first into foreign language study, 4.0 GPA territory and enough extra-curriculars on my booked up schedule to exhaust even the brownest of brown-nosers. Here, my friends, is the instant where fringe geek intersected with overachieving nerd and completed my ascension to the freak throne. i purchased games to gather them, read industry magazines to research them and lived in Japan within the hopes of reporting on them. As you can most likely tell, i did not achieve that goal. Oh, I became a journalist, little question, however the fascination with 3D gaming took a turn for the overall gadget category somewhere in my Akihabara wanderings.
Now, I proudly bear my geekdom badge as it has been legitimized by a definite reputable online publication. Passed by the wayside are my dalliances with the supernatural, and my preternatural obsession with the online game industry. Of their stead, I now pursue with an equally obsessive zeal research into quantum mechanics and ancient astronaut theory, swapping out The Boy Who Could Fly from my Netflix queue for What the Bleep Will we (K)now!? And do not be disturbed, I still carry my inner husky boy with me — except now he knows that real magic lies within the specs.
Joseph Volpe is usually at the Twitters dispensing nuggets of dad cultural ephemera to anyone who dares follow him ( 0 @jrvolpe 0 ). He cannot promise to side with humanity within the face of an Anunnaki return.
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